Anything You Can Do

  • Cast Number: 1
  • Run-time: 5 minutes
  • Bible Reference: Matthew 25:15
A monologue with some comedy shows how God has given talent to men and women equally, and how female African-American athletes have excelled over the years.

Set, , Sound, Lighting: standard

Costumes: likely athletic wear

Song: See “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better” by Irving Berlin performed in “Annie Get Your Gun” 1946

Sample of script

actress comes on stage, looking back offstage

Oh give it a rest Billy Marshall!
If you are so sure that you are more athletic than me, like you say you are, why don’t you just go and prove it?
Like put up or shush!
Maybe I should remind you that I work out like 5 days a week.

shows off muscles

Just have a look at these pipes!
And you? . . . Not so much!
To you working out is exercising your smart mouth.

listens, reacts


Why would I care if you are older than me?
Age is a number!

listens, reacts

You are taller than me? . . . So what does that prove? . .
Me, I am taller where it counts . . between the ears . . in the brain, little boy!

listens, reacts

So you got 20 pounds on me?
Big deal!
African American women got it all over you . . men types!

assumes boxing stance

Meet Laila Ali sucker . . ..
24 fights, 21 knockouts . . . ZERO losses!
The 20 pounds I am short just helps this lady float like a butterfly . .

(throws a vicious right)

. . . and sting like a bad old bee, sucker!
I got news for you Billy Marshall . .
Anything boys can do . . girls can do better!
Anything!
ANYTHING!

strikes defiant pose, sings

Anything boys can do girls can do better . .
Girls can do anything better than boys!

listens, reacts

Yes we can

listens, reacts

Yes we can!

listens, reacts, very firmly

Yes we can, yes we can, yes we can!

shakes her head sadly, smiles in mock pity

Face it sucker!
Women are just more naturally gifted as athletes.

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