The Old Maids

  • Cast Number: 3
  • Run-time: 25 minutes
  • Bible Reference: Matthew 19
Three single young ladies discuss singleness, being alone, waiting, (not patiently), for Mr Right. A humorous yet painful look at waiting for that special guy.Young adults, singles, dating, peer pressure, choosing a life mate.

Sample of script:

The drama takes place in an apartment which is shared by three girls.

Lighting
At least two spotlights will be required, one for each side of the "apartment".

Costumes
Garland and Laurel will be dressed in normal youth leisure wear, Jennifer will be in a business suit.

Sets
The back wall will be wallpapered in a bright floral design with a "window" complete with flowery curtains. Furniture should be unmatched, rather worn, as would be seen in struggling young people's quarters.

Cast

(all cast will be late teens to late 20's)
Jennifer - a very refined career woman"
Laurel - happy-go-lucky, laid back,Garland - easily excitable, nervously active
Voice of Gertie Matilda Hickelmeyer - Southern drawl
As play opens the lights come up on girls apartment. Laurel and Garland are alone in the apartment, Laurel is painting a picture, Garland is lying upside down in an armchair, reading a book and loudly chewing on celery.

Sample of script:

Laurel: Garland, did you bring in the mail yet?

Garland: The mail?

Laurel: Yes, the mail. Remember I asked you to do that an hour ago when the mailman came!

Garland: Oh! That mail!

Laurel: Well?

Garland: Hmmmm. Well what?

Laurel, (getting annoyed): Well are you going to get the mail?

Garland: Oh I get it! You wanted ME to get the mail!

Laurel: Not much gets by you is there?

Garland: Nope!

(Both remain in present positions, Garland makes no move to get the mail. Several seconds go by as Laurel is painting and Garland reading. Finally Laurel looks over her shoulder at Garland, a scowl on her face).

Laurel: Garland! What gives with you? Do you or do you not intend to get the mail.

Garland, a look of total confusion on her face: I thought I made it crystal clear that I definitely plan that indeed I shall get the mail.

(Garland looks at Laurel, shakes her head in wonderment, then goes back reading. Laurel tries to concentrate on her painting, finally shakes her head, puts down her brush, wipes her hands with a cloth and throws the cloth to the floor in disgust).

Laurel: That does it!

Garland: What ever is wrong Laurel? I must say, you look agitated!

Laurel: Agitated? Agitated? I look agitated do I? Well I should hope I look agitated. Maybe if just once I could get a straight answer out of you it would help!

Garland (looks confused): A - straight - answer? A straight answer on what question may I ask?

Laurel (furious): A straight answer on the question - (speaks slowly and precisely) WHEN - WILL - YOU - GET - THE - MAIL?

Garland: Strange you should mention that! I'm just reading up on that very subject.

Laurel, by now beside herself: You are reading up on how to get the mail? Give me that book! Give me that book! (Reads the cover). "Finding Your Life Partner." What has that got to do with getting "the mail?"

Garland, dreamy: It has full instructions on getting . . . . . "THE MALE."

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