Pitching Camp

  • Cast Number: 7
  • Run-time: 60 minutes
  • Bible Reference: Matthew 19:14
A comedy dinner theatre script, (flat out silly is what), pitching (or promoting) the support of childrens summer camps, and telling the importance of Christian camping in young lives.
Very little cerebral content here, mostly silliness), and it even spreads to folks in the audience), includes some original content which is nominally referred to as singing . . . NOT!

example

We would sing in tones melodious
Of the folks in Scoudoc town
That's a town that few can fathom
Why the locals hang around.
They have not a lot to offer
To the young folk coming up
Every year they have a contest
Who will win their Boredom Cup?
They have great folks on town council
Bound to move their town ahead
Instead of planning some activities
They tell folks to stay in bed.
. . . . and that's the more refined content . . it get's worse.
So if you want high-brow theatre best look elsewhere, if you want flat-out fun and promoting kids camps, it just might work for you.

Sample of script:

Bill and Laura come on stage
Bill: OK, this looks like as good a place as any to pitch camp.
Laura, Terry & Dawn struggling on stage with arms full of canoe and tenting equipment
Laura: I should hope so! Carrying all this equipment, up hill. I tell ya, the last eight miles has been just about more than I can take!
Ralph, nothing in hands: You are so right, Laura! I wondered if I was going to be forced to rest for a bit the last mile or two myself.
Alice, Tracy & Tony on hands and knees coming on stage, big backpack on back
Alice: I . . . can . . . . not . . . go . . . one . . . step . . . further!
Bill: Guys, guys, guys! We are all in the same boat here, so to speak. We are all tired! We have all worked very hard to get here. Believe it or not I am tired too . . . . it’s just that my superior conditioning has made a big difference.
Terry: That and the fact that you had nothing to carry!
Bill: Terry, surely you realize the heavy weight of leadership.
Terry: I will trade the weight of your leadership for the weight of this stupid canoe! I thought canoes were meant to ride in, not carry.
Ralph: Portages are a fact of life, no way around it.
Dawn: Another fact of life seems to be that some of us do all the work!
Ralph: Now that hurts! Here Bill and me are testing the trails, charting the course, finding the flow, plotting the path, . . . . .
Tracy: Ducking the duties?
Ralph, hurt: Now that purely hurts!
Bill: You guys, you gotta see the big picture here!
Tony: Hard to see the big picture with a canoe over my head!
Bill: You just wait! When camp is all done and completed, you’ll see, it will be worth every bit of the inconvenience!
Laura: You are right Bill, it will, won't it?
Ralph: I can see it all now! (point toward a table of people) Right over there! That’s where the canoe shack will be.
Bill, walks over near table: Over here you mean?
Ralph: A little further.
Bill, walks back to Ralph, whispers, points to table: Uhhh, don’t look now but . . . there’s someone sitting in the canoe shack!
Ralph: In the canoe shack? How can there be someone in the canoe shack when we haven’t built the canoe shack yet?
Bill: Don’t ask me how there can be, look for yourself!
Ralph goes over to table, stares directly into a person A’s eyes, up close into their face
Ralph, to person A at table: Madam, may I ask you exactly what you are doing here?
(In these situations actors must be prepared to improvise, based on audience reaction)
Ralph, to person A at table: Yes, Madam, I am speaking to you. I asked a question, if you will be so kind as to answer me. Now then, my partners and I are attempting to pitch camp here. Sorry but you can not simply move into our canoe shack and take up residence.
Terry, comes to Person A’s rescue: Oh Ralph, now don’t be unkind. This poor person likely didn’t know any better. For all we know she may be from Scoudoc, (or name of some local town/city).
Bill: Well, you do have a point there, I mean, we can’t expect that much from anyone from Scoudoc.
Dawn: Exactly, I mean, once I met a person from Scoudoc who actually knew what she was doing. Shocked me some I am here to tell you.
Ralph, to Person A: Are you from Scoudoc, lady?
again be prepared to improvise depending on Person A’s response
Bill, to Ralph: She says she isn’t from Scoudoc.
Ralph: Well did you expect anyone to admit they are from Scoudoc?
Tracy: You have a good point there, I mean . . . . .
Tony: Especially sitting there in the middle of our canoe shack and all!
Bill: Embarrassing is what! (pats Person A on head) Don’t you worry lady, your secret is safe with us, no way we are going to tell anyone you are from Scoudoc.
(Bill goes behind Person A’s back, points at Person A, mimes to all the audience, saying “She is from Scoudoc”, mimes laughing uproariously)
Ralph: There is one good thing about living in Scoudoc.
Alice: Really? What’s that?
Ralph: Not sure. The mayor of Scoudoc told me there was one good thing about living there. He couldn’t remember what it was though.
Terry: That’s not a very nice thing to say about the people in Scoudoc. My guess is you might hurt their feelings.

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