Just Desserts

  • Cast Number: 7
  • Run-time: 60 minutes
  • Bible Reference: Psalm 21:6
One of our most popular scripts.
St Paul Lutheran Church in Missouri tells us:
We are practicing "Just Desserts" and will perform it on the evening of August 20th.  I will need the solution to the mystery in its sealed envelope. My cast is all high school students and they keep accusing each other at practices - they are really into "who done it!" 
Thanks and blessings!
Sue

And:

Grace Baptist Church in Pennsylvania report:
We just finished a two day production of "Just Desserts" and it went very, very well.  Our audiences were so involved with the play!!  They LOVED it.  We took an intermission while we served dessert and allowed them to ask questions of the cast...my cast is made up of a bunch real nuts, who had the audience crying with laughter at some of the answers they gave.  It was two days of real joyful fellowship and fun.
Thanks a bunch,
Sandi

A church is holding a dinner theatre and the plan was to get Hall and Oates as the entertainment . . . however there was a misstep and what they actually got was “Stole ‘n Oats”. . . . Not quite the same calibre, OK?
And to further complicate matters it seems that the funds raised for the dinner theatre are . . well . . . missing. . . . Now just how are the event organizers going to find the missing funds? . . What else . . they ask those attending the dinner theatre to find the solution.
A fun, easily staged dinner theatre with some silly music to the tune of some Hall and Oates classics.
The solution to the mystery is voted on by the audience, and these solutions are then compared to the “correct” solution . . which is mailed in advance by DramaShare to the performing church in a sealed envelope and opened for the first time at the end of the performance. So no one, (actors, directors or anyone else in the cast or crew), knows for sure what the “correct” solution is until the end of the performance.

Cast: 7 (women but could be male or female)
Yolanda, somewhat goofy
Trudy, intellectual
Patricia, intellectual
Anastasia (women’s ministries executive)
Fifi (event organizer)
Denzina Stole, hillbilly entertainer
Simone Oats, hillbilly entertainer

NOTE: director comes on stage at end of drama to read the “correct” solution
We suggest that two police officers (in uniform) from local police force deliver the sealed envelope with the mystery “solution” at the end of the presentation.
(The director and police officers are not included in cast number above).

Set: blank is all that is really required but can be dressed up as desired

Sound: as available
The following MP3 clips are available on the DramaShare website under “TECHNICAL HELP / Script Songs”. NOTE songs are meant to be sung badly, they are roughly to the tunes of some Hall & Oates songs:
a short sound clip of mystery music
“Every Time We Go Away” to tune of “Every Time You Go Away”
“Hameater” to tune of “Maneater”
“Private Eyes” to tune of “Private Eyes”
“You Can Solve A Mystery Too” to tune of “You Make My Dreams Come True”

Costumes: all wear standard clothing, except Stole and Oats who are dressed more flamboyantly

Special Instructions:
At the back of this script are:
1) Just Desserts Fact Sheet and a Ballot which are to be handed out to the audience at the end of the drama
2) Sample Questions for Actors to be used in rehearsals. This is to assist the actors in becoming more familiar with their roles and also to assist them in preparing for possible random questions from the audience after the performance

Props: money

Sample of script:

Yolanda, Patricia and Trudy come on stage

Yolanda: Patricia, did you hear the great news?

Patricia: News?

Yolanda: Yes, Patricia, we are planning this great, huge dinner at the church, it is simply gonna be like . . out of this world!

Trudy, points into audience: Look around you Yolanda, what do you see?

Yolanda, looks around: Well there’s a bunch of people, sitting around, like at tables looks like.

Trudy: And what are the people doing there at the tables Yolanda?

Yolanda: Well, looks like they are kinda having some kinda meal seems like.

Trudy: And where are we right now Yolanda?

Yolanda: You know Trudy, you do ask some pretty dumb questions . . . Everyone knows we are at the church!

Trudy: Well, maybe just put it all together then, what do you see.

Yolanda: Well, like I said, there is this huge bunch of people having dinner here at the church. . . . But back to what I was talking about . . I heard they were planning a big dinner here at the church.

Patricia: Yolanda, look around you, it is happening!

Yolanda: Wow, Patricia, now that was fast!

Trudy: Folks for sure are enjoying themselves, having a great time!

Patricia: Yes Trudy, and the food is awesome!

Trudy: Nice how an activity can bring folks together.

Denzina and Simone come on stage, looking around

Patricia: Good evening ladies, can I help you?

Denzina: Well, like, we are, like, how do you say . . here to help y’alls.

Trudy, confused: Help us? . . . How so?

Simone, does a VERY bad tap dance: We . . are like . . (sings the scale, badly off-key) . . the entertainers!

Patricia, worried: As in . . . the entertainment for tonight?

Trudy: Please say this is a joke.

Yolanda, to Simone: I gotta say I did like that dance you did.

Simone: Straight out of “Singin’ in the Rain”.

Yolanda: I saw that movie; George Clooney was awesome in that role.

Trudy and Patricia do double take

Patricia: Anyhow, there must be some mistake.

Trudy: We hired a big name act for tonight.

Simone: Don’t get much bigger than “Stole ‘n Oats”!

Trudy, shock: “Stolen oats”?

Denzina: Not “Stolen oats”! . . . We are like, . . . “Stole ‘n Oats”.

Patricia, sarcastic: Thanks for clearing that one up!

Denzina: See, like, how do you say . . . I am like, Denzina . . Denzina Stole.

Simone: And I am . . (sings operatic badly) . . Simone . . . Simone Oats.

Denzina: Thus . . we are . . .

Simone & Denzina, together sing: Stole ‘n Oats!

Patricia & Trudy, together: Help!

Anastasia comes on stage

Anastasia: Wow do you see the crowd here tonight?. . . I am so excited! . . After all this is my first time as event coordinator, and I want everything to go just right! Everyone is looking forward to hearing the great entertainment that we’ve lined up. . .

Patricia: Well, Anastasia, I just hope they are as enthusiastic after the performance as they are before the performance.

Anastasia: Can you believe it? . . Hall and Oates, right here in Hendersonville!
(sees Simone & Denzina)
Who are these people?

Trudy: They, Anastasia, apparently are the great entertainment you have lined up.

Anastasia: They are? . . But they aren’t Hall and Oates!

Yolanda: No, actually these two are none other than . . Stole ‘n Oats.

Anastasia: “Stolen”? . . But we are in church, I mean we simply can’t have anything stolen in the church, I mean . ..

Simone: Not stolen oats!

Denzina: We are . . . Stole . . ‘n . . . Oates!

Anastasia: Well, I don’t care how you say it, I shall simply just die if they aren’t simply great entertainment! . . I mean it was I who went out on a limb and recommended them to the organizing committee.

Patricia: Well, break that down . . . they for sure are entertainment. . . but as to great . . . the jury is still out on that one.

Denzina: Never fear dear lady, you will be over the moon about our singin’!

Anastasia: Perhaps you are right. Perhaps if I heard one of your songs it might calm my nerves.

Trudy: My best advice is try taking two aspirin instead.

Patricia: Well we gotta do something, the crowd are getting restless, they want to hear the show.

Simone: Stole ‘n Oates to the rescue! . . (to Denzina) . . Come on partner, let’s show them what we can do! . . What say we sing one of our golden oldies, “Every Time We Go Away”?

Denzina and Simone walk forward to the audience, sing very badly, (to tune of “Every Time You Go Away), “Every Time We Go Away”

Sing:
Every time we go away
They change the locks on doors it seems
Every time we come back home
We crawl through windows from a tree.
Every time we go away
They change the locks on doors it seems
Every time we come back home
We crawl through windows from a tree.

Anastasia reacts in horror, take mics away from singers

Anastasia: That was horrible! . . . You said on your application that you are endorsed by the CMA and Charley Pride.

Denzina: For sure, and that we are.

Trudy: The Country Music Association endorsed . . . that?

Denzina, confused: “Country Music Association”????

Trudy: Yes, Country Music Association . . . the CMA.

Simone: Must be some kind of mistake here y’alls. . . . CMA, that’s Clem’s Meat Assembly.

Denzina: Fact is old Clem he fixes up hog meat for folks miles around Tater Falls, Wisconsin is what.

Simone: Not sure what this Country Music Association y’alls was talkin’ about might be, for sure!

Patricia: Well OK then, but what about your endorsement from Charlie Pride.

Simone: Charlie’s Pride Hog Jowls . .. yum yummm!

All others: Help!

Denzina: I am here to tell you folks that you marry up a slab of Charlie’s Pride hog jowls with 2 cups collard greens, 1 cup cream, 1/4 cup flour, 1/4 cup truffles . . finely chopped of course . . ., toss in 1/2 cup butter, 1/4 cup chopped parsley, 1/4 cup chopped tarragon and 1 teaspoon salt and you got yourself a feast beyond compare!

Simone: I do declare! . . Ain’t that your old Granny Mae’s secret recipe that you done gave out to these folks Denzina?

Denzina: For a fact it is Simone. . . But I am sure these folks won’t blab it around. . . Why don’t we just go and sing old Clem’s theme song for these fine folks?

Simone and Denzina, step up, sing to tune of “Maneater”

Song:
Oh here Clem comes, eat some ham and chew it up
Oh and Clem says,
Be a ham eater.

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