Missionary Basic Training

  • Cast Number: 4
  • Run-time: 20 minutes
  • Bible Reference: Matthew 9:37-38
Training "missionary troopers" to minister to "animals"??? This skit, (with a Monty Python type feel), is a take-off on training missionaries for duty. Cast is an instructor plus any number, (4+), of missionaries-in-training. Roles can be doubled up if necessary. The college has a military academy atmosphere with the instructor barking out the orders. Instructor may be male or female. No special props or lighting is required.

Staging Information

This skit is a take-off on training missionaries for duty. Cast is an instructor plus any number, (4+), of missionaries-in-training. Roles can be doubled up if necessary. The college has a military academy atmosphere with the instructor barking out the orders. Instructor may be male or female. No special props or lighting is required.

Sample of script:

As the scene opens the trainees are standing talking. The instructor comes on stage, trainees gather around the instructor, attention riveted on the instructor.

Instructor: Ten-hut!

Missionaries come to attention form a straight line before the instructor.

Instructor: All right! At ease.

Missionaries relax somewhat.

Instructor: Alright then, listen up! I'm glad to see that you have made it this far in our Missionary Basic Training Course. You will notice that Parker is not with us today.

Missionary Jones:I noticed that she wasn't here. Where is she?

Instructor: Parker is at the zoo, that's where!

Missionary Jones: How nice! Some R & R! Parker needs a rest.

Instructor: A rest? Not too likely! Parker is at the zoo witnessing! We all know the great needs there are at the zoo. Now then, today we are continuing with our series in which we teach you how to cope with every evangelical difficulty. We can not, we must not send you out into the mission field unprepared! Now for example, suppose you are on duty in Africa. A baboon comes to see you. How would you witness to the baboon? First you would . .. .

Missionary Arneson: Excuse me. We took baboon witnessing in last week's class.

Instructor: We did? You're sure? Yes, well, all right then. A rhinoceros with great big horns comes to see you and . . . .

Missionary Smith: We took that too, sir (madam).

Instructor: We did? I don't remember that. However, should it be an eland . . .

All missionaries in unison: Done.

Instructor: Cape buffalo!

All missionaries in unison: Done.

Instructor: Lesser kudu . . .

Missionary Jones: Done. In fact we have learned to witness to every possible animal in Africa: elephant, hippo, zebra, Grant's Gazelle . . .

Missionary Arneson:. . . chimpanzee, waterbuck . .

Missionary Smith: . . . python, wildebeeste . . .

Instructor:All right, all right! Suppose, . . . that you are in South America, in . . . Bolivia, and, and . . . and a llama comes to a prayer meeting with a request! What do you do?

All missionaries look at one another, shrug shoulders, shake their heads.

Missionary Jones: Well, I guess . . . I, I really don't know. We haven't done llamas yet. . . .

Instructor: Right, well there you go! You are simply not prepared for the mission field, are you? So, today then we will learn how to witness to the llama. Now the first step in witnessing to the llama is to learn something about the llama's background. Take him out for coffee! Get to know that llama! Ask how things are going for his cousin in Ecuador! Then the next step in witnessing to the llama is . . . . what? (points to Missionary Arneson).

Missionary Arneson: Ummm, let's see, . . . Bible study maybe?

Instructor: Wrong! You feed the llama borscht!

Missionary Smith: Borscht? But what if you haven't got any borscht?

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