Baptists And The Biffy

  • Cast Number: 1
  • Run-time: 2 minutes

 

Those who have RV’s (Recreational Vehicles such as motorhomes, trailers, etc), may get a chuckle from this short piece which we found on the internet, source unknown. A good monologue or piece to add to church communications, good to poke fun at ourselves.

Cast: 1

Set, Lighting, Sound, Costumes: standard

Time: 2

Script:

An older lady, new to RVing, (Recreational Vehicling), genteel of upbringing, was planning a vacation to Minnesota. In advance of their trip, she undertook to write to a prospective RV park to inquire about reservations. Concerned that the park have complete facilities available, she was at a bit of loss as to how exactly to write about – well – bathroom facilities. She couldn't bear to write such a vulgar word as, "toilet" in her letter, but finally, reached the conclusion the rather Victorian term, "bathroom commode," might suffice. But in writing those two big words, she found herself a bit aghast, it seemed so forward. Finally she settled on abbreviating the term. One might only imagine the confusion that overtook the park manager, who on receipt of the letter, found his potential guest inquiring, "Does your RV park have its own BC?" Completely overthrown by the cryptic letters, the manager showed the letter to the rest of the staff and several guests, all of whom were equally mystified. Finally, like a lightning bolt, it hit him. "Does your RV park have its own Baptist Church?" He quickly framed a response: "Dear Madam: "I very much regret the delay in answering your letter. But I do want you to know there is a BC about 20 miles distant north of the park. It's quite nice, and can seat 250 people at a time. While it is a bit of a drive, if you're in the habit of going regularly you'll be pleased to know that many take their lunches along and make a day of it. Folks who do this usually arrive early and stay late. "You should know it is a beautiful facility and the acoustics are marvelous. Even normal delivery sounds are quite clearly heard. The last time my wife and I went was five years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand the entire time. However, a fund raiser is planned to raise money for more seats; it will be held in the basement. "I would like to add that it pains me not be able to go more regularly, but this is surely not for lack of desire. It just seems as the older we grow, it seems to take more of an effort, particularly in cold weather. However, if you decide to stay on in our park, perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to others. Remember, ours is a friendly community."

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