If Id Wed A Rich Man

  • Cast Number: 2
  • Run-time: 8 minutes
  • Bible Reference: Luke 2
The innkeeper and his wife discuss his plans for the future of Bethlehem Inn, (including franchising and creating the “Best Eastern Inns and Suites”). See, . . the innkeeper is . . different . . . in this comedy.
The script is a combination of a monologue for the innkeeper and a song for his wife, written to the music of “If I Were A Rich Man” (from Fiddler on the Roof).
While the early part of this script has lots of humour, it develops into a compelling Christian message of the coming of the Messiah.

Cast:
2 (1 male, 1 female)
Female role requires singing ability

Sound:
Song “Had I Wed A Rich Man” to the tune of “If I Were A Rich Man”. DramaShare has an MP3 file for download by members, see “TECNICAL HELP” link at DramaShare website, click on “Script Songs” dropdown.

Costumes: Likely traditional costumes

Sample of script:

Rebecca comes on stage

Rebecca: Dear God, it is me, Rebecca, wife of Timothy, the Bethlehem innkeeper.
It’s not like I want to always complain when I talk with you God, but . . .
My husband Timothy . . certainly a man of worth, don’t get me wrong.
And the fact is, as a young girl I prayed constantly, night and day, that you would bring me a husband . . .
And, along came Timothy . . .
At the time I was ecstatic . . .
And even today I am . . satisfied . . mostly . . .
But sometimes . . like today, for instance . .. I wonder . . ..
Could it be God, . . that when you sent me a husband . . .
Might it be that you got the shipments mixed up . . maybe?
If you recall, I prayed for a rich man . . .
And, when it comes to financial status . . .
Well . . . .

Rebecca sings, (Track 1):
Had I wed a rich man,
Dai-dle dee-dle dai-dle
Dig-uh dig-uh dee-dle dai-dle dum
All day long I'd lounge around the house
Had I wed a wealthy man.
Wouldn't have to work hard,
Dai-dle dee-dle dai-dle
Dig-uh, dig-uh dee-dle dai-dle dum
If he was a biddy-biddy rich,
Dig-uh dig-uh dee-dle dai-dle man.

Timothy, comes on stage:
Rebecca, light of my life!
Guess what?
I was just planning a new extension to our inn.
(pauses, touches her shoulder, smiles)
Oh Rebecca, I know what you are thinking . .
Why add an extension when our inn is full, like . . never . . actually . .
But see, I was talking with Old Abraham at the temple, and he has information from inside sources that the Romans are going to call for a census. . .
And Bethlehem being the city of David, why folks from all over Israel will be flocking here.
And ours being the only inn in downtown Bethlehem, why it’s a surefire prime investment.
Then . . . and you are going to love this Rebecca . . after the census I thought we could turn the inn into a long-term seniors healthcare facility.

Rebecca, astonished look, shakes head, shrugs:
Oy!

(sings Track 2)

I’d have this great big house with real mar-ble floors and
Cov-er them o-ver with fine rugs
Sign out-side says “for this you can only dream - - !”
My hus-band he would spoil me, buy me the best
De-ny me the priv-i-lege to toil.
If this is life then I’m a happy wife!

Timothy, excited:
I can just see it now Rebecca!
(points upward)
Four stories with a penthouse suite for the most important guests!
It will be the envy of all Israel!
Now I realize that I don’t have the money to hire the construction . . but you, my beloved, have always been very good with hammer, saw and bricks!
Just think! . . Your aching muscles will seem a small price to pay when you see the new Bethlehem Inn!

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