God, The Answer Guy

  • Cast Number: 3
  • Run-time: 12 minutes

Leesa needs answers to big problems so she asks God. And God answers her prayer . . . in real time. But turns out God wants some input into the "small" decisions in here life, like who she has for friends, who she is dating, her entertainment. Leesa learns you must let God be in control of all aspects of your life.

Sample of script:

Leesa is sitting on the end of bed, leafing through college catalogs.

Leesa: OK, here we go, today’s the day! I gotta decide where I am going to college. Man! These college catalogs are driving me nuts! (picks up a catalog) This school has scholarships, but no internships. (picks up another catalog) This one is strong on sports, weak on academics. (picks up another catalog) This one has really lame school colours, I think they would clash with the colour of my eyes. (pause) What’s the use, I can’t make up my mind. I guess I’ll just have to ...pray.

(bows head) Dear God...Please tell me which college I should go to. Amen. (lifts her head, waits a moment, looks from side to side) Nothing. You ask God what to do, and what do you get? Nothing, that’s what! I wish he’d come right out just once and show me what His will is. But no, he never says anything!

God: Never?

Leesa: Who said that?

God: It’s God, Leesa. I’ve heard your request to know my will, and I’ve decided to speak to you about it directly.

Leesa: You sure you are God?

God: Take it to the bank.

Leesa: Wow! This is great! No more wondering what I should do! So, then, which college do I go to?

God: I’ll get to that. But first...I believe you have plans for this evening.

Leesa: Well, I’m just going to watch my favorite TV show. The one with the beach and all those guys in swimsuits... and uuhhhhhh . . .

God: That’s not my will for you, Leesa. Try doing your homework instead.

Leesa, sighing: Oh, all right. Now, back to it, what about choosing a college...

God: In a moment. First I’d like to hear your plans for tomorrow.

Leesa: But...Well, OK. At lunch I’ll be meeting my friends Lisa and Chris at the Burger Barn down the street from school.

God: Sorry, Leesa. Every time you’re with Lisa and Chris, you tear down your teachers and the principal. I want you to respect authority. My will is that you find some new friends.

Leesa: Hey! You can’t tell me what to...

God: Pardon me?

Leesa: Uh...let me rephrase that. If I don’t eat with those friends, who will I eat with?

God: Try the third table from the back in the school cafeteria. You’ll find some kids who need your friendship.

Leesa: You mean the, (emphasize), rejects?

God: I made them, I don’t make rejects. Have lunch with them, Leesa. That’s my will for you.

Leesa: Oh, Man. (pause) I suppose you expect me to forget my fifth period plans, too, right?

God: Skipping class and going to see an R-rated movie isn’t my idea of a good time.

Leesa: But it’s what I like!

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