Forever Young Retirement Home

  • Cast Number: 3
  • Run-time: 20 minutes
Mildred and Henry from the retirement home are remembering some of their experiences at the talent shows which the retirement home hosts. And they aren’t always quite on the same page, . .or on the same planet.
Could also be used as a regular sketch

Cast: 2 puppets (male and female) and a puppeteer (Edna)

Sample of script:

come on stage, Edna yawns, loud

Henry: Nice of you Edna, taking the two of us out for dinner like this.

Edna: You are welcome, it’s my pleasure. I gotta tell you, I just love being with Aunt Mildred and you, Professor Andrews.

Henry: It’s Henry. You call me Henry, OK? How many times have I told you that? Since I retired from teaching at the university I am just Henry, got it?

Edna: Sorry . . Professor . . Errr . . .Henry.

Henry, looks around: Snazzy place this.

Aunt Mildred yawns, stretches

Edna: My goodness Aunt Mildred, you seem worn out.

Henry: I took Mildred out on the town last night.

Mildred: My sense is that “on the town” and “attending a bug convention” are not one and the same.

Edna: Bug convention?

Mildred: Buncha bug people getting together.

Henry: It’s my old group of colleagues, us retired entomologists. . .

Edna: Oh ya, . . retired entomologists that's . .

Mildred: Old retired bug chasers.

Henry: Exciting times at that there convention, I tell ya! . . Just ask Mildred here. . . She had some fun, didn’t you sweetie?

Mildred, mocking: Ohhhhh, yeah! . . . Laugh . . I thought I’d never start.

Edna: And this group of yours . .

Henry: Brotherhood of Retired Entomologists . . I gotta tell you when us (spells) B-O-R-E guys get together a good time is had by all.

Edna: Bore? . . . You call yourselves . . bore?

Henry: Like I say . . . . Brotherhood of Retired Entomologists. B-O-R-E.

Mildred: I have the scars to prove I have been to their functions, my best advice is just stick with bore.

Henry: I even got to sing our B-O-R-E theme song last night.

Mildred: Oh heavens yes, that he did, for a fact.

Henry: Don’t have to ask me twice, for sure I will be overjoyed to sing the B-O-R-E theme song for you.
(clears throat, sings to the tune of Happy Wanderer)
Ahem . . .
Here goes . . .

I am an entomologist
I am a friend of bugs
Worms really like to talk to me
And so do moths and slugs

Bugs from here
Bugs from there
Bugs with some
Of the finest features anywhere
Little bee
On my knee
It’s entomology!

Edna, in shock: That was. . a . . song!

Mildred: Only in cultures untouched by mediocrity!

Edna, changing the subject: So, tell me, how did you two kids meet?

Henry: Forever Young Talent Show.

Edna: Forever . . Young . . . .?

Mildred: AKA, over the hill and out to pasture old folks home.

Edna: And you had a talent show?

Mildred: What part of “Forever Young Talent Show” gave you the most trouble comprehending Edna? . . . Sheeesssh! . . I realize that as we go through life we are moving toward senility but my guess is you have already passed marker 85 on your journey.

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