Souper Bowl

  • Cast Number: 1
  • Run-time: 4 minutes

It’s Super Bowl time and a lady sets out to prepare her famous soup for her husband’s Super Bowl party . . .  Get it? . . . Soup for Soup-er Bowl. . .  OK it’s weak but it works in this short comedy.
 

Bible Reference:        

 

Cast:              1 female, likely middle age

 

Set, Lighting, Sound, Costumes:       standard

 

Time:             4

 

Script:           

 

actor comes on stage, walks around then suddenly sees the audience

 

Wow!

Never noticed you guys there.

Heading out shopping here, gotta pick up a few things for Sunday.

(looks into audience, frowns)

Sunday. . . .

Football game . . .

(looks into audience, frowns)

The Super Bowl.

The . . .  Super . . . . . Bowl . . .

My guess is you aren’t a real big football fan, are you?

It shows.

Well, fact is, I’m not a super huge football fan . . .

I like my four down football, don’t you ever think otherwise.

Don’t give me none of that arena football thingie!

Football oughta be played out in the elements, risking frostbite, hail, hurricane and heatstroke, the way the good Lord meant it to be played!

Me, I watch all the games, sometimes go to the park to watch the (name of favorite team) play.

But not what you would call a football nut, really. . .

Now you take my hubby . .

Sometimes wish someone would take him, during football season. . .

I am joking! . . It is a joke!

It’s not like I would for real give Flash up to anyone.

(pauses, thinks, frowns)

Well, maybe if the deal was, I mean, like, really good. . .

(pauses, thinks)

Nah, . .  nope, not gonna give up on old Flash.

Besides, Flash he’s not like gonna start a bidding war or anything for hisself!

Not as if there’s a lineup for to take old Flash away from me!

Old Flash, he always says I was his fair catch.

Fair catch . . .?

More like illegal substitution, ask me!

Back when I was a young thing, I had a buncha guys after me, you’d better know it.

More than one man in motion, I’m gonna tell you!

(pauses, thinks, smile)

Like young Billy Thompson . . .  Let me tell you Billy was some charmer!

No penalty for Billy’s holding, it was his illegal use of hands that drew the whistle!

My Paw declared Billy to be offside, ruled him an ineligible player and sent Billy to the showers.

 

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