Earlier on this blog I talked about a lady named Trish who was faced with instant news that her husband Dave had inoperable cancer, he died within a few days. Trish’s lament was one which most of us have likely felt at one time or another:
“The Bible says if we have faith the size of a mustard seed it will move mountains. Why, in spite of my earnest prayers, does the mountain not move? Why has God chosen not to answer my prayer?”
I was blessed to write the eulogy which Trish delivered at the funeral, and I also wrote a script, “The Immovable Mountain” which is online.
I am pleased that Trish has stayed in touch in the last few months. Her sorrow and pain are very real and seemingly unending. On top of everything else in her life she was scheduled for back surgery at the time of her husband’s death, this had to be delayed to just a few days ago. She is not only dealing with the painful recovery, she is dealing with it alone.
Trish sent me a note in which she asked difficult questions:
“Is my husband Dave, who has passed away, aware that I have had my surgery?”
“I had some friends over recently, that was nice, but do you think my Dave was there as well?”
“Is God aware of what I am going through, if so why doesn’t he lift this grief?”
Questions like that are never easily answered, especially when you don’t know the questioner that well. I post my answer below, (and wonder if it is what should have been said):
Trish I am just a very ordinary man whom God has chosen to work in some extraordinary situations. And there are tons of things I don’t know . . . . But one thing I believe in full confidence is that indeed your Dave knows about your operation and is excited for your recovery. While we are in this world we enjoy being with family and taking in their activities and happenings. But we simply can’t be there for everything. I believe that death releases us from these restrictions and allows us to be there with those we love in the major things and even the trivial things.
Trish I am thankful that God has given me the words that seem to have provided you with some strength as you deal with the “mountain” which has attacked you in the last months. I am totally convinced that God will continue to walk beside you on your painful walk. The thought that comes to my mind in this situation is when we go through these troubling times God is our friend, we can 100% count on that.
Perhaps the following comparison of a good friend might help. That friend comes beside us and offers to walk with us up a troubling incline. He doesn’t likely put you on his back and carry you to the top of the mountain, that wouldn’t be possible. But the friend takes your hand, gives you encouraging advice and feedback and urges you on.
I think that’s kind of how it is with God. As has been said many times, God doesn’t always keep you FROM the storm. BUT God keeps you THROUGH the storm. And when we come to the end of that difficult time we look back and can see where God has led us through.
Never be afraid to talk out loud to your Dave every day, several times a day. Tell him about the good things, the very painful things, the joyful things, the silly things. Dave is there and he is aware of what is going on . . . but I believe he wants to hear your sweet voice. You talk to Gizzy, your beloved dog, and that’s good. But Gizzy isn’t half the friend Dave was and is. Don’t close the door on him now, that would be unfair to Dave and unfair to you.
Trish are you listening to good music? Janet Pascal has a beautiful song “It Won’t Rain Always” . . . I like that song, think you will too. Janet has gone through many trials in her life and I think she has a word to say to you.
Now all of that said . . . was my answer to Trish appropriate or helpful?
I guess only God knows, huh?