Aunt Prudence is a stubborn but sweet 87-year-old lady. She is very opinionated but would not hurt a fly. In her younger days she was a librarian and a church secretary. She is widowed, but very happy, keeps herself busy with church work and gardening and helping the "elderly". Still driving, but she shouldn't be. She grew up in Chicago and retired to Florida.
This comedy puppet / ventriloquist script will bring lots of good clean fun and laughs.
Cast: puupet and puppeteer (or ventriloquist)
Props: Old lady puppet, suitcase
Sample of script:
Tessie comes rushing onstage, carrying suitcase with Prudence inside
Tessie: Oh my word, here I am late . . You must forgive me, I am never, ever late, it`s just that . . (whispers, points at suitcase) . . Aunt Prudence . . was slow getting ready today . .
Prudence, angry voice from inside suitcase: “I was slow”? . . (louder) . . . “I was slow?” . . Now you just take that back! . . I will have you know that I, Prudence Evangeline Bosworth have never, . . let me repeat . . NEVER . . in my 87 glorious and busy years once been late in my life! . . . NEVER . . . (quieter) . . . Well there was that one time back in ’52 when I thought I was late, . . . but I was mistaken!Now get me outta here!
Tessie: Sorry, wait . . .
reaches down, opens the suitcase, takes Prudence out, sits on her lap
Tessie: Now then, where were we . . .
Prudence: We were trying to look presentable, . . just look what you’ve done, wrinkled up my perfectly good Sunday dress, and my makeup, smudged and . . Well I just hope you are satisfied is what!
Tessie: Oh Aunt Prudence, you look perfectly divine . . .
Prudence: Well, some may say so, but . . (looks back at Tessie) . . depends who you might be comparing me to I guess. . . . Really dear, we should talk about that hair style, I mean, hardly becoming . . and perhaps we could go to Walmart together and look at a wardrobe upgrade for you dear.
Tessie: It`s so nice to see you again Aunt Prudence . .
Prudence: Yes, I am sure it is Tessie dear . . And it is good seeing you again too. . . But back to this . . me being late thing . . If you had let me drive we would have gotten here in good time, but nooooooooo . . you had to take the wheel!
Tessie: Aunt Prudence, you know that you have been having trouble with driving this last while. . .
Prudence: Me . . me having trouble? . . I will have you know that I have been driving for going on 69 years and I have a perfect driving record . . .
Tessie: But Aunt Prudence, . . . those accidents . . .
Prudence: Child, I shall have you know that I did not have an accident but for two insignificant happenings last week, so there!
Tessie: But the fact is you only drove twice last week . . .
Prudence: Don’t try to confuse me with facts! . . . And I am an excellent driver I shall have you know! . . Why my dear departed husband, bless his soul, him been gone these last 18 years, . . Tom, he used to say to me, “Toodles,” . . Tom, he used to call me “Toodles” all the time, . . . it was just a little thing my husband Tom and I had between us . . . (pauses, thinks) . . Now what was it you were saying dear? . . Speak up now, I can’t be expected to finish off your sentences for you dear . .
Tessie: Ummm, . . . . it was you . . . talking, Aunt Prudence, you were saying that your husband Tom used to call you Toodles . . .
Prudence: Oh you knew my dear departed Tom did you? . . . Wasn’t he a fine, fine man?
Tessie: No, actually I never got to meet your husband, I . . .
Prudence: Never met Tom? . . . Then how did you know he called me Toodles? . . . Oh I know, it was that busybody Flora Norris wasn’t it? . . . Old Nosey Norris we used to call her! . . I used to work with Flora over at Elm Street Church when I was church secretary there. . I do declare, that woman never quit talking, . . I tell you, Nosey Norris had a tongue that was hooked in the middle and flapped at both ends, why she would go on and on, never stopped long enough to catch her breath, I do declare, I have no idea how the woman did it, she just would talk on and on and on until, well, until folks tried to avoid her is what!
Tessie, trying to change the subject: Uhh, Aunt Prudence, . . so, .. I must say, you for sure are looking good today!
Prudence, proud: You noticed my new purchase didn’t you?
Tessie, confused: New purchase?
Prudence: It’s the dentures! . . I got my dentures relined! . . Don’t they look grand?
The complete script can be downloaded free of charge by DramaShare members