A TV chef, (Paula Deen type), learns that giving thanks is more than just recognizing the usual gifts.
Cast: 2 (actor and offstage voice)
Sound: taped sound of applause
Costumes: standard. actor has a large wig or hair brushed to look like a wig
Sample of script:
Offstage: And now . . ladies and gentlemen . . . it’s time for Channel 67’s own Chef Extraordinaire . . . Mona Green!
Mona comes on stage to sound of taped applause
Mona: Good morning all, thank you for inviting me into your homes and into your kitchens this morning.
Offstage: And a good morning to you Mona Green! . . And just what mouth-watering munchies are there in Mona’s magnificent meal managing menu for today?
Mona: Well, golden-voiced offstage announcer . . . I thought today we would prepare a complete Thanksgiving feast.
Offstage: Hmmmm . . . Thanksgiving you say?
Mona: Well . . like I always say . . ‘tis the season after all! . . . (giggles) . . I mean it would hardly be apropos to be preparing Easter hot cross buns in November now would it?
Offstage: Well, let’s get started Mona . . on to the feast!
Mona: Let’s dive right in then . . first up let’s prepare the turkey . .
Mona looks around, frowns, concerned look on her face
Mona: Uhhh . . . where is the turkey, people?
Offstage: Well, actually Mona . . like you’ve been hearing on the news . . it’s been a really rough time this year for a lot of folks . . and, well, fact is . . we just couldn’t afford turkey this year.
Mona: Couldn’t afford turkey? . . I mean, what’s Thanksgiving without a turkey? . . I mean even right back to our founding fathers . . (smiles phony smile into the camera) . .and founding mothers don’t forget . . . there’s always been a turkey on the table.
Offstage: Well I am sure that our Mona Green will be able to improvise just fine.
Mona: What do you have in mind oh wise one? . . Tofu turkey perhaps?
Offstage: No, don’t be silly, not tofu! . . . Besides, check it out . . . we are all out of tofu.
Mona: No turkey? . . Not even tofu? . . What is this? . . Next thing you tell me we have no fixings for preparing my famous grits!
Offstage: Uhhhh . . actually we don’t have.
Mona: Look, this has just gone too far! I’ll just bet that Paula Deen never had to endure this kind of thing! . .
Offstage: Oh but we have Mona Green, a step up from Paula Deen, for sure!
Mona: How do you expect mouth-watering munchies from Mona’s magnificent meal managing menu without the basics like turkey and grits? . . . Whatever! . . . OK, look I will just go and preheat the stove so I can . .
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