Description

Spike Duckling is a duck and kind of a magician, and kind of a singer. But Spike’s magic tricks don't work, and his singing is . . . well, unsuccessful. But on the plus side, he is nuts and he is a lot of fun.
This comedy puppet / ventriloquist script will bring lots of good clean fun and laughs.
Props: Duck puppet, a toy rabbit
Sample of script:
Tessie and Spike walk in together, Spike singing loud
Spike: Be kind to your web footed friend
A duck might be somebody’s brother
Be kind to your friend in the swamp
He’s a dilly through and through
Oh you may think that this is the end
But it’s not cause there’s still another chorus
Tessie: Spike, sorry, but you are being just a tad loud . .
Spike: You are saying that I, Spike P. Duckling, am loud?
Tessie: Yes, Spike, actually I am. I don’t like to say it but you are . . . loud.
Spike: Wow, that’s amazing, ‘cause I can sing waaaaay louder than that when I try real hard . . . See I like, take 18 real big deep breaths like this . .
Spike takes several deep breaths
Tessie: Please don’t do that Spike, you are likely going to scare some of these nice folks here . .
Spike, looks around: There’s some nice folks here?
Tessie: Yes all of the folks here are very nice, and I want you to be nice too.
Spike, looks into audience: No way that guy there is nice I tell ya!
Tessie, embarrassed: Spike Duckling! . . That is not nice! . . Now you stop saying those kind of things!
Spike: My name is Spike P. Duckling.
Tessie: What does the “P” stand for?
Spike: Nothing . . But my mom thought I should have a middle initial, made it look like our family was wealthy. . . We were from out of town, didn’t have much. . . When we moved to Florida we couldn’t afford to fly so we had to walk here all the way from Bald Eagle, Minnesota.
Tessie: You are actually from somewhere called Bald Eagle, Minnesota?
Spike: Yup, gorgeous place actually, . . Nice folks up there at Bald Eagle, Minnesota. . . . (looks around the audience, sees a bald man) . . . . That guy there is from Bald Eagle, Minnesota I think.
Tessie, looks around: Which guy is from Bald Eagle, Minnesota? . . And how can you tell?
Spike: That guy with the close trimmed hair . . And I can tell by his smile. . . . (laughs outrageously) . . . I quack myself up!
(looks out in the audience)
Pretty lady . . . you in the beautiful (state the color of dress a woman is wearing)
Do you know what time a duck gets out of bed in the morning?
Tessie: You are asking this lady if she knows what time a duck gets out of bed in the morning?
Spike: Yup.
Tessie: Well I don't think anyone here knows what time a duck gets out of bed in the morning . . (to the audience) . . . do you folks?
leave a second for people to try to guess
Spike: Is everyone ready for this? . . . A duck gets out of bed . . (giggles) . . this is gonna slay you, I tell you . . . A duck gets out of bed . . at the . .quack . . . of dawn!
Spike laughs uproariously, Tessie is not impressed
Tessie: Spike Duckling . . .!
Spike: That is Spike P. Duckling . . .
Tessie: Whatever! . . The fact is that those duck jokes are sick!
Spike, horrified: Oh please, don't mention a sick duck! . . . Reminds me of my cousin Elvira. . .
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