First Church of Harmony

  • Cast Number: 2
  • Run-time: 7 minutes
  • Bible Reference: Philippians 4:2-3

Serving together in harmony in the church, being an harmonious part of the body

Rose, (character from Golden Girls TV show)
Dorothy, (character from Golden Girls TV show)

Props: diapers, box of books

Special instructions: getting the characters as close to the Golden Girls as possible would be useful

Sample of script:

Dorothy: There we go, another 12 cases of baby diapers donated for our First Church of Harmony church nursery!

Rose comes on stage, carrying very heavy box of books, drops it on the diapers

Dorothy: Careful, careful, careful will you? These are brand new diapers here, donated to the church nursery by Morison’s Supermarket!

Rose: Brand new? Well, I mean, like just how often are people going to give used diapers to the church?

Dorothy: Rose, what I am saying is these are the brand new Tiny Trainey Super Padded diapers, advertised on TV no less! I am so excited!

Rose: Don’t get out much do you Dorothy? But, listen, you want to talk excitement, see the books donated to the First Church of Harmony church library. I have arranged for a banner to hang in the library, care to guess what it is going to say on the banner?

Dorothy: “Quiet, Christians sleeping”?

Rose: A comedian is what you truly are!

Dorothy: I plan to hang a banner in the nursery, and it’s straight out of the Bible too. “We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed.” Get it? A little bit of nursery humor there.

Rose: We noticed, Dorothy, very little bit of humor. But if you have extra room for banners, you should announce the arrival of Tommy Drainey diapers.

Dorothy: That’s “Tiny Trainey”.

Rose: That too. But now you can announce, “we look after our children, tops to bottoms”.

Dorothy: So now who is the comedian?

Rose: Sorry, guess you could say it’s the “trickle down effect”.

Dorothy, solemn: Stop me please, I can’t laugh much more!

Rose: Speaking of which, you should see some of the hilarious books here . . . let’s see there’s . . . “How to Leave Them Laughing”. . .

Dorothy: After you finish reading them over a several times Rose, you should consider putting them in the church library, others could likely also benefit.

Rose: Fine, you just go ahead, make fun of the library, but I tell you, it is the first place newcomers come when they visit First Church of Harmony.

Dorothy: Likely because you are right across from the washrooms. Actually I will have you know the first place families visit is the nursery. If they aren’t pleased with the nursery, they just don’t come back. Like the pastor always says, the nursery is the heart and soul of First Church of Harmony.

Rose: The pastor said that?

Dorothy: Not in so many words but I do know that . . .

Rose: Ya, ya, ya! As if! You heard what pastor said in his sermon on Sunday.

Dorothy: Refresh my memory.

Rose: He said we should all read every book at least once in the course of the year.

Dorothy: He was talking about the books of the Bible, Rose, the books of the Bible.

Rose: Maybe so, but I know he would feel the same way about our library books as well.

Dorothy: Let me tell you, the Board of Elders, they know the nursery is first in line in importance.

Rose: What would drive you to think that, Dorothy.

Dorothy: Did they, or did they not, in the Year-end report list the nursery in top spot, the reference being, as I recall, let me think here, ahh yes, “Nursery – Building Blocks”. I guess that shows that the Board believes that the nursery is the foundation upon which the Church of Harmony will be built.

Rose: Dorothy, that was under materials to be purchased in the coming year, as in “for the nursery, purchase building blocks. As in blocks Dorothy, blocks for kids to play with?

Dorothy: Principle still stands. Everyone knows what the Church of Harmony is all . . .

Dorothy stops thinks

Rose: What is it? You just remembered that you have some overdue books at my library?

Dorothy: No, actually I just remembered the name of our church.

Rose: How many years you have been coming here and all of a sudden now you remember that the name of our church is “The Church of Harmony”? I am proud of you Dorothy.

Dorothy: Listen with me a moment. “Harmony.” What do you think of if I should say “harmony”.

Rose: I guess I would think, “Dorothy has left town”.

Dorothy: Rose, your comedy is putting me in stitches, but I will survive. But think . . . you and I have been serving here at the Church of Harmony for many years.

Rose: That is true Dorothy. You change diapers and I do ministry.

Dorothy: I hereby declare “Be Tolerant with Irritants Day” so I shall overlook that comment. Regardless, we have served together at a church called, “Harmony” yet we aren’t showing it, are we?

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