What Goes On In The Ark

  • Cast Number: 8
  • Run-time: 45 minutes
  • Bible Reference: Genesis 6:8

One of our most popular scripts. One church who staged it as a dinner theatre reports:
"'What Goes On In The Ark' was so fun, the dinner was put together by the women and included servers in waiters attire and elegant table settings. The three sons were played by three crazy guys who did ad lib a lot but they were very funny. Our pastor played Noah and he was quite good as well. Some great additions including a ceremony for christening the ship and a part for our ten year old as the son of the neighbors who kept saying he wanted to go on the trip. At the end as the dove was released we sent out the five year old to run around and then the 10 year old who came back with the branch. Lots of comments about the amount of bird seed consumed etc. The ending song summed up the idea of faithfulness."

The story behind the story about Noah’s Ark .. . well, kinda.
Actually it’s the “Zark” and Noah’s family and friends and the animals are kinda . different. But in spite of the silliness in this comedy, the story of God’s plans and Noah’s faithfulness do show through.
Can be for children but even adults will enjoy it immensely, could be a good dinner theatre presentation.
An easily staged comedy with music, and with a message.

Bible Reference: Genesis 6-8

Cast: 8 plus extras
Wife (Noah’s wife)
Ham (Noah’s son)
Seth (Noah’s son)
Japheth  (Noah’s son)
Aaron (Noah’s neighbor)
Priscilla (Aaron’s wife)
any number of extras for animals and neighbors (the more the merrier)
NOTE: Aaron could also be the Narrator

Set: none is really required however (if desired) the first scene would be in Noah’s home, balance is on the ark.

Lighting: spotlight

Songs:  “Hey Noah” Copyright DramaShare. MP3 available on the DramaShare website
“God Sent A Sign” Copyright DramaShare. MP3 available on the DramaShare website
(Optional) “Noah’s Ark” Dorsey Burnette available on the internet

Costumes: could be traditional but contemporary is suggested
costumes for animals, as simple or elaborate as desired

Special Effects:

Props: None really needed, keep them simple
Could have lightweight panels of the ark to show the construction

Special Instructions:

Time: 45


Wife is working around, dusting, cleaning, after a few seconds Shem, Japheth and Ham come on stage, hug Wife

Shem: Hey Mom, how are you, busy I see.

Wife: You know how it is Shem, I like to keep things nice and clean for your father.

Ham: What was the urgent news that Pop called the family in to hear?

Wife: No idea Ham, you know as much as I do, all your father told me was the news is humongous.

Japheth: Humongous? . .  You don’t suppose that Pop is gonna try to open up his “Build Your Personal Pyramid” scheme again.

Ham: I hope not Japheth, we are still backordered on 6,000 tons of marble and I tell ya, the natives are getting restless.

Wife: Some see your father as mishegas.

Ham, hurt: Our father is no fool, he is . . unique . .

Wife: Well you gotta remember your father has an artist’s mind, constantly thinking of new and novel ideas, his mind a finely tuned machine in harmony with data not yet identified by the masses.

Shem: I love Pop to death but sometimes I think that finely tuned machine in Pop’s mind likely has some gears stripped by many years of fine grinding.

Japheth: Well brothers we have to admit Pop has hit home runs with some of his ideas.

Ham: And some are best described as “Pop’s flys” . .

Wife: Like a famous baseball hitter once said, “a guy’s gotta hit a ton of fast pitches if he wants to consistently hit homers”.

Shem: I have to congratulate you on your knowledge of baseball Mom.

Wife: Thanks Shem, I am real proud of how I have picked up on America’s game . .

Ham: So true Mom, especially since the game’s not gonna be invented for like a gazillion years.

Japheth: Which proves that Pop is not the only sharp pencil in the box.

Shem: Speaking of sharp pencils, here comes an e-racer. . . . Get it? . .  Moving fast . .  An e .  racer. . . Get it? . .

Wife: Oy vey! . . . My son, the comedian.

Noah rushes on stage

Noah: Dear wife, sons, my wonderful mishpocheh, my wonderful family, thanks for coming.  I have some news. I have been talking to God today.

Wife: That’s nice, Noah.  I’m so proud of you!  What did God have to say?

Noah: God wants us to build a big boat.  It is going to be made out of cypress wood, and it will be 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high.

Shem: Well, that sounds good Pop, but, have you noticed, we don’t have any lakes or even good size puddles to float the boat around here.

Japheth: Shem is right, Pop.  Besides, we’ve never built a boat before, and we don’t have any cypress trees within, woooohoooo, long ways from here..

Ham: And, Pop, I wonder if this is wise, you starting to build such a large boat at your age, I mean, you’re 600 years old Pop.

Wife: You know, dear, what your sons have said actually makes sense.  Think you should pass on this one?

Noah: Nope.  God said.  And besides, it’s our only hope.  God told me he’s sending a flood.

Wife: A flood?

Noah: Yep.  God plans to destroy the whole world and everything that’s on it.

Wife: You mean, like all animals?

Noah: Yep!

Wife: And reptiles?

Noah: That’s what He said.

Wife: But not people!

Noah: People are gonna be destroyed too!

Wife, moves downstage, fakes tragedy:
Whatever shall we do?

Noah: Not a problem!  Like I said, God has a plan.

Shem: I sense this may be about the boat again, am I right?

Noah: Yep, the zark.

Japheth: “Zark”?  You want to call the boat a “zark”?  Wherever did you come up with that name??

Noah: Not me, God.  God said to me, “We’ll call it ‘Noah Zark”. 

Ham: Noah Zark, huh?  (thinks)  Wait, Pop.  Sure God didn’t say, “Noah’s Ark”?

Noah: Nope, don’t think so.  Think it was “Noah Zark”. 

Wife: Remember, dear, you’re hearing’s not what it used to be.

Noah: Give me a break, I’m 600 years old, you guys think your hearing will be 20/20 when you are 600?  But, fact is, the name sticks.

Japheth: Any other instructions from God?

Noah: Pitch inside and out.

Shem: That’s a sticky mess, but should keep the Zark from sinking.

Noah: And then, there’s the three decks: lower, middle and upper.

Wife: Seems like a lot of room just for our family.

Noah: Actually we will be having a few others.

Wife: Friends of ours?

Noah: Animals actually.

Wife, pouts: You have no right to talk about my family that way.

Noah: No, I mean, animals, like animals.  God told me to take two of every species of animals.  Seven actually if they are clean.  But only two if they’re unclean.

Wife: So we’re gonna take dirty animals on our cruise?

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