Big Big Letters

  • Cast Number: 2
  • Run-time: 10 minutes
  • Bible Reference: Habakkuk 2:2

This comedy deals with an overworked guy who worries about getting the proper message to the proper people. He won't settle for just any way, it has to be very clear.
Habakkuk 2:2 Running With A Vision

Cast: (may be male or female)

Sample of script:

Two actors are on stage

Boss: Excuse me, Donny, do you have a minute?

Donny: Sure do, boss! (aside) After all, that’s why they call me the secretary, that’s what I do all day long, race around, trying to get all of my mountain of duties looked after, just to be interrupted every ten minutes when my many bosses and wannabe bosses call out, “Donny, do you have a minute?” (focuses back on boss, smiles sweetly) Yes, boss, I have all the time in the world! (over-doing it) How can I help you?

Boss: Big news just came in from Home Office, we need to get this looked after really quickly please, Donny. So, maybe set everything aside, this is a priority.

Boss freezes in position, Donny looks out into audience

Donny: Yeh, right! Priority! If I had a dollar for every time I heard that chestnut! “This is a priority, Donny!” “This priority takes priority over that priority, Donny!” Give me a break! (looks back at Boss, smiles, he un-freezes) Certainly Boss, I will get on it immediately! (sickening) How can I help you?

Boss: Thanks for being so flexible, Donny! I appreciate it! Now, what we need is to get a memo hand-delivered to all of the foremen and shop superintendents out in the plant as soon as possible. In my meeting with these people yesterday I explained that we were short-listed to get the contract on re-furbishing the Pyramids in Egypt. I told them that if this contract comes through they we would immediately switch all machines over to triangular door frame configuration. So they will all be expecting your visit and will know what to do.

Boss freezes as Donny turns to audience

Donny: Hand delivered! That is dumb! I mean, why not simply put out an email to each of the supervisors? (pause) Except that none of the supervisors have computers, but, anyway, we could just announce it over the intercom . . . . Oh, yeh, we took the intercom out because the noise level was so loud in the plant that no one could hear it. And I’m supposed to hand deliver this message! Speaking of hands, the boss knows very well I have a manicure appointment for this afternoon! Sheeeeesh! ! (looks back at Boss, smiles, he un-freezes) Certainly Boss, anything you say! (sickening) How can I help you?

Boss: Thanks Donny. By the way, I know that you have a manicure appointment for later today, hopefully this won’t take long and you’ll still be able to make your appointment.

Donny: Pedicure, schmedicure! Matter of fact I had totally forgotten about it! No problem-o!

Boss: Well, just know I do appreciate this, more than you know. It’s a very brief message, just three words: “Got Pyramid Contract”.

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