Description
Being grateful for all around us, including our political leaders.
Even when they appear to be undeserving and even wrong.
Cast: 5 m or f
Flanderson Glooper BNN (Better News Network) announcer
Senator Colonel J, loud and obnoxious
Grundy (Grundeen if female) Grumpmeister of Dark Side Coalition (negative)
Harriet (Harry if male) Whocares of Opt-out Anonymous
Gracie Grateful of Elm Street Church
Bible Reference: 1Timothy 2:1-2
Set:
- Talk Show set with Flanderson in the center, bare or dressed up as desired
Sound: wireless mics if available
Song: none
Lighting: standard
SFX: none
Props: none
Costumes: standard
Special Instructions: none
Time: 12
Sample of Script:
Flanderson: Welcome to BNN, the Better News Network, the nation’s leading source for all the news that is news while it is still news!
Tonight our panel debate focuses on gratefulness. . . .
The Attitude Of Gratitude, I call it . . .
(projects a phony smile to the audience)
Dreamed the name up all by myself . . . doncha think it is way out appropriate?
Colonel J: Well son, y’all know me, I’m just a straight shootin’ senator from Parched Whistle, Arkansas and I would have to say to you Glanderson Flooper, that . . .
Flanderson: Pardon my interruption Senator Colonel J, but the name’s Flanderson Glooper . . .
Colonel J: Whatever son! . . . But fact is you’d be much better callin’ this chin wag . . . “Gratitude Is The Attitude” . . . Much better than that weak “Attitude Of Gratitude” thingie y’all came up with!
Flanderson: To each his own Colonel J! . . . But before we start let me introduce our panel for the folks watching on TV back home.
First someone who needs no introduction . . because he has already introduced himself . . . Independent Senator Colonel J from Pierced Tonsil, Arkansas . .
Colonel J: Parched Whistle . . Parched Whistle son!
Flanderson: Whatever! . . . Next we have Grundy (Grundeen) Grumpmeister, vice-president of the Dark Side Coalition.
Grundy: Good to be here Flanderson . . although it would be nice if the chairs were a smidge more comfy.
Flanderson: You do see the negative in everything don’t you Grumpy . . . errr Grundy.
Grundy: We in Dark Side Coalition can see downsides others can’t.
Flanderson, raises eyebrows:
Riiiiiiight!
Next we have Harriet Whocares from Opt-out Anonymous.
Welcome Harriet.
(Harriet is staring offstage, not focused, not listening, Flanderson speaks louder)
Uhhh . . . Harriet!
(still no reaction, speaks louder)
Harriet!
Harriet comes to life, looks around, stretches
Harriet: Someone call?
Flanderson: I was welcoming you Harriet.
Harriet: Welcoming me to . . . what exactly? . . . And who are you?
Flanderson: I am Flanderson Glooper from BNN and you are part of the panel in our focus group discussion of “The Attitude Of Gratitude” . . .
Colonel J: I still say that’s a namby pamby name y’alls have for this namby pamby focus group . . . Goodness knows I offered to bail you out Spandersman Trooper . . .
Flanderson, angry:
MY name is Flanderson Trooper . . . I mean Glooper!
And “Attitude Of Gratitude” is not a namby pamby name and this focus group is not namby pamby OK?
Colonel J: Whatever son.
Flanderson, angry:
Yes, whatever indeed!
Now where were we?
Oh yes, introducing Harriet.
Now then, Harriet .. . .
(Harriet is spaced out again, Flanderson speaks louder)
Harriet!
Harriet comes to life, looks around, stretches
Harriet: Someone call?
Flanderson: I am Flanderson Glooper from BNN and you are part of the panel in our focus group discussion of “The Attitude Of Gratitude” . . .
(evil look at Colonel J)
Not a word Colonel J!
Finally we have Gracie Grateful from the local Elm Street Community Church.
Gracie: I am grateful to be here Flanderson!
Colonel J: Now just what for y’alls brought someone from some namby pamby church, all’s that Gracie Goodgrief is a’gonna do is trot around screamin’ out “Hallelujahs” and “Praise the Lords”!
Gracie: Colonel J, my name is Gracie Grateful and it’s my hope that I can bring something useful to this forum from a Godly perspective.
Grundy: Gracie all you bring is some worn out Christian cliché “glass half full” perspective. We all know the glass is half empty at the very best of times!
Gracie: Surely you see the good around us don’t you Mr. Grumpmeister?
Grundy: If there were any good I would be the first to comment on it! . . . But for now good news isn’t on anyone’s horizon.
Harriet: May I make a comment please?
Flanderson: I would be forever grateful if you would!
Harriet: My comment is I am bored. Everyone in Opt-out Anonymous is bored!
Colonel J: Credit that to the namby pamby name Flatlander gave to this namby pamby forum!
Flanderson: I am Flanderson and I don’t need your comments Colonel J . . And Harriet you are not bored and shall never be bored until I tell you to be bored, understand?
