Description

Can be used as a puppet script or as a regular production script with some modification.

 

Cast of 5, any age

 

Set:  None required

 

Costumes:  leisure clothing

 

Props:  outlandish hat

 

Lighting and Sound:  standard

 

Sample of script:

 

Tony:         Hi Tracy!  Haven't seen you around for a long time.  Where ya bin man?

 

Tracy:         Who's that?  Oh Tony!  Didn't recognize ya, what with that hat 'n all!

 

Tony:         Like it?  Bought it yesterday at Leo's Haberdashery and Salvage.

 

Tracy:         Let me guess what side of Leo's business that hat came from!

 

Tony:         Ya like it?  Me too!  Makes a statement about my good taste, I think.

 

Tracy:         A lot of folks would try to keep that kind of statement under their hat, so to speak.

 

Tony:         What's that?  You mean you don't like my hat?  I mean, I just bought this hat and . .

 

Tracy:         Look, Tony, it sure wouldn't be my first choice but if it works for you that's great!  But, listen, I've gotta be goin', got a buncha things ta do for my mom.

 

Tracy leaves stage.

 

Tony:         Nobody seems to like being around me.  It's the way I look, I know that.  Why didn't my Craftsman make me handsome so's I could be popular like Tracy?

 

Jack comes on stage

 

Jack:          Hydee ho, Tony!  Love yer hat!

 

Tony:         No you don't!  You're just saying you like my hat, but you don't really!

 

Jack:          I don't?

 

Tony:          No, you don't!

 

Jack:          That's strange, I was sure I did like your hat.  Can I ask a question?

 

Tony (angry):  What do you want now?

 

Jack:          I was just wondering.  Why don't I like your hat?

 

Tony:         See, that proves it!

 

Jack:          Proves what?

 

Tony:         Proves that you don't like my hat.

 

Jack:         No it doesn't.  You told me that I didn't like your hat, and I thought the least I should do is know why I didn't like your hat.

 

Tony:         I don't want to talk about it anymore!

 

Jack after a moment's silence:  Could I ask a favor?

 

Tony:         What now?

 

Jack:          Well, I was just thinking.  See'n's how you don't like that hat, and I really do like it, well, do ya think I could maybe buy that hat off ya?  If ya want to, that is, of course.

 

Tony:         So now you want to buy this ugly hat from me?

 

Jack:          Yeh, well, yup, I guess that's what I want to do all right, I want to buy the ug . . , I mean I want to buy your hat.

 

Tony:         There you go making fun of my hat again.  (takes hat off and throws it at Jack)  Look just take the stupid hat and go.

 

Jack:          You mean, just take your hat?  Oh, I can't do that, I mean you just bought it, and you paid for it and all.  No, I couldn't take a good hat from a friend and not pay for it, I mean . . .

 

Tony screams:        I said take the stupid hat and go!  I don't want the stupid hat, and I sure don't want your stupid money!  Just go!

 

Jack:          Well, if you're sure Tony.  Gee, thanks, this really is a great hat!  You are a good friend, Tony!

 

Jack leaves the stage

 

Tony:         A good friend!  Right!  Nobody likes me and that just proves it!  Jack took that hat that I really wanted for myself.  The only time anybody likes me is when I give them stuff, and then when they get my stuff they just leave.  Just like Jack did!  And now I'm all alone,  again!

 

Gloria enters stage.

 

Gloria:        Hi, Tony.  How are you doing on this ho?hum day?

 

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